For many guests, leaving the warm embrace of the Disney Parks and Resorts and returning to the real world can be something of a downer. Upon reentry to everyday life, it's not uncommon to feel like Adam and Eve post-original sin, expelled from a paradise on earth and forced to live in the shadow of their memories. These guests are suffering from Dispression.
How can you tell if you're afflicted with Dispression? Common symptoms may include:
*Humming "There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow" to yourself in bed while fighting off a case of the Night Sobs.
*Photoshopping yourself into The Bricker's vacation pictures.
*Watching youtube videos of children freaking out mid-cycle on Mickey's Fun Wheel.
*Making your own super cool Pepper's Ghost illusion box that you're really proud of and then showing it to your wife thinking that she'll like it, but then she gets all mad at you for putting holes in her shoebox and I MEAN JESUS, IT'S BEEN SITTING IN THE CORNER OF THE LIVING ROOM FOR LIKE 2 YEARS JUST GATHERING DUST, AND YOU CAN'T RETURN THAT DIRTY PAIR OF TAUPE CANVAS TOMS TO NORDSTROM ANYWAY 'CAUSE YOU STEPPED IN MANURE WHEN WE WENT TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH AND THE SHOUT WIPES DID NOTHING, REMEMBER?
*Petitioning TCBY to offer a damn pineapple flavor already.
*Rewatching Cars and deciding Mater isn't so bad.
*Aimlessly wandering around your local Disney Store, searching every shelf for that one Perry the Platypus Vinylmation that will fill the pit of black-burning shame and despair that's slowly stretching across your soul.
Unfortunately for sufferers, there is no cure for Dispression outside of the old adage, "Time heals all wounds...except HPV." And that's where this website comes in. Let this be a source of refuge for anyone who's feeling down in the non-Disney dumps. Make this the meeting place where the miserable find the company that they so desperately need. To paraphrase a great man:
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